


vows

by lionkid (orphan_account)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Fake Marriage, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Married Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-13
Updated: 2016-11-18
Packaged: 2018-07-14 22:27:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7193393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/lionkid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil works as a video producer for Buzzfeed UK. Dan, a coworker he's not particularly fond of, comes up with a video idea: two single people have to act married for a week. He just so happens to volunteer to 'marry' Dan.</p><p>Based on Buzzfeed's "Single people get married for a week" series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> this will have daily updated for the next 7 days -- following their married life.
> 
> have fun reading it. i hope you have as much fun as i did writing!

Phil was usually extremely passionate about his job. Working as a producer for Buzzfeed Video wasn’t something everyone could do, and his workplace was filled with dedicated, extremely creative colleagues. He took pride in doing what he loved for a living, and there wasn’t anything he disliked about it. Except maybe  _ one guy  _ in his office.

They didn’t get into any conflict. Usually everyone in their team got along, and if they didn’t, there wasn’t any arguing — you just stayed out of their way. But of course there was something that forced them to work together, and while that wouldn’t be a problem for itself, the task at hand made him frown just thinking about it. Said disliked guy was Dan Howell, and he was infamous for his outlandish ideas. (Unfortunately, outlandish ideas  _ were  _ the Buzzfeed specialty, and he ended up being one of the most productive workers.)

Howell had come into the meeting room ten minutes late, sweaty and with a flash drive threatening to fall out of his pocket. “Dan? Why are you running late?” Catherine, their lead, asked. Phil knew what was coming: another stupid proposal that would be hailed by everyone in the room. He just hoped he didn’t have to take part in it. “I had to finish this presentation,” said Dan. Everyone’s gazes turned to him.

“I have a video concept. Permission to present?” He asked. Cat looked displeased by interrupting the briefing they were doing before he came in, but nodded — she knew better than to ignore one of the best workers in their team. Dan smiled and handed her the metallic flash drive. She plugged it in and waited as he found the presentation file. By this point, Phil was already considering asking to leave to the bathroom.

The first slide had “Singles Get Married For A Week” written in huge bold font. Phil’s brain instantly screamed an internal  _ no  _ and his lips turned down into a frown. “As all of you know,” Dan started, pointing to the projected screen, “married life isn’t exactly easy. It’s filled with… Hardships some people can’t even overcome and end up breaking it off. So I thought — maybe we could see how two single people, who aren’t used to commitment, deal with living together. They’ll be forced to elaborate a romantic activity and show affection daily, and we’ll document it for a final product around 5 minutes.” He clicked his tongue.

“Obviously, we’ll need volunteers. To make this easy on everyone… I’m sorry to say, but I’ll be volunteer number one,” he spoke. “I’ll need someone else who’s willing to either move in with me or let me move in with them. Can be any gender, and don’t worry about the producing because I’ll be in charge of everything.”

Unfortunately for Phil, who had been silently praying his project would be turned down as a completely stupid idea, Cat looked very pleased with it, nodding along to Howell’s waffly explanations and smiling. She spoke up and Phil regretted even getting out of bed that morning. “That sounds absolutely wonderful.” He groaned. “Does anyone volunteer to participate in the experiment?” Oddly enough, nobody raised their hand, and he noticed Dan blushed. Phil was confused, because he’d heard Tyler and Lily from the directing team fancied him, and they’d definitely be up for it.

Dan was biting his lip and looking down. He looked a bit upset, like he felt people not wanting to participate was a rejection towards him and not the idea itself. What happened next was a blur of events that frankly enough, Phil completely lamented.

He raised his hand. Immediately, he felt the regret seeping into his bones, but it was too late. Cat had already beamed and said “that’s wonderful,” and Dan’s smile had blossomed back onto his face. Phil didn’t know why he did it — he disliked the concept and he wasn’t fond of the person he’d have to “marry” for the next week, and just thinking about living together with Howell for a week made his stomach churn. It wasn’t as much of a personal issue as it was professional; his antics and working standards completely differed from Phil’s, he was messy and not the best at communicating, and if he couldn’t stand being in the same team as him…  _ marrying _ him sounded like an awful idea.

“Howell and Lester… or should I say Howell-Lesters?” Cat looked proud of herself for the subtle jab. “You’re all set, then. Dan, do you have an estimate for how long it’ll take, including the week of recording?”

When Dan replied “a couple of weeks should be enough to have it all done”, Phil’s mind was already somewhere entirely different; his brain was bustling to imagine all the worst possible scenarios of sharing a bed, going on a date and living with Howell. Suddenly, a week sounded like the longest time possible.

After they finished the morning briefing, Dan stopped Phil on his way out. Great, he thought. Immediately, he scolded himself — being patient and nice was his signature around the Buzzfeed offices, and he’d rather not ruin that. He pulled his best smile and nodded. “Dan, hello! Excited to work with you,” he lied. He couldn’t help noticing the other’s soft sigh.

“Listen, no camera smile,” Dan told him. Phil’s face fell. “We have some mutual friends. I know you’re not my biggest fan, but… What you did for me was really nice? So thanks?” The way he spoke showed his lack of confidence, and his statements sounded more like questions. Phil nodded and reached for his phone. When Dan looked at him confused, he had to explain himself.

“We’re gonna be living together for a good week,” said Phil and smiled — this time, a genuine one. Even if it was Howell, knowing someone felt better because of him had a positive effect on his mood. (That and the coffee Tyler offered him during the meeting, but that was beyond the point; everyone knew coffee was the best way to destroy his moody mornings.) “So I guess I should have your number, since we’re married and all.”

He handed Dan the phone and watched as he typed his contact information in. When he got it back, he noticed Dan had saved himself as “Hubby <3” and giggled. Maybe Howell wasn’t that bad of a person, really. Maybe, just maybe, all he needed was a silly experiment; perhaps they’d be great friends by the end of it.

Phil tried not to think of the way Tyler had piped in with “best case scenario, you fuck, because I’m feeling this chemistry”.


	2. day 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan comes over to Phil's flat to start the experiment.

Phil woke up to the obnoxiously loud sound of the ringtone his mum had forced him to use ( _you never pick up, this is the only way to grab your attention)_. He fumbled around for his phone; in the bright screen, a notification read “Missed call from Hubby  <3”.

He had managed to block those memories out: the way he raised his hand and volunteered to marry one of his coworkers for a week, and Dan saving his own contact as “hubby”. Phil rolled his eyes and groaned. It was going to be a long week, and if Howell thought it was okay to ring him at six in the morning, they’d have to clear that up very soon.

The phone started vibrating again, and _God_ Phil hadn’t even had his morning coffee yet. He figured he could force himself to be a nice, functional adult just this once. “Hello?”

Dan’s voice made him extremely aware of his condition — he lay sprawled on the bed, boxers hanging off his hips and hair so messy not two hours in front of the mirror would fix it. “Hi, it’s me, Dan.” That much Phil had already guessed. “So, I was wondering when I could come over? You know, to start… the thing?” He asked; his voice wavered when he mentioned the experiment.

“You can come over in an hour, I’ll text you my address,” Phil attempted to say, but it sounded more like an incoherent mumble. He didn’t realise how much he actually needed caffeine until that moment.

“Huh?”

“I said,” he spoke, more clearly this time, “that you can be here in an hour.”

Dan said “okay” and quickly hung up. Phil let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He forced himself to get up and dragged himself all the way to the dingy kitchen of his flat, his duvet still attached to his feet and following along. Phil hip bumped the kitchen door open, instantly walking over to the coffee machine.

“I love you so much,” he told the inanimate object, which unfortunately for him did not reply, and he pouted.

He waited until the machine filled the mug completely and grabbed it with clumsy hands. The smell of freshly brewed coffee was enough to wake him up. Phil pondered how amazing technology was for a moment; he needn’t do anything, because there was a coffeemaker to do all the hard work for him. Neat.

A quick look into a mirror showed him he had a terrible case of bed hair and was unfortunately still almost naked, as there were no gadgets to dress him up in the mornings. Phil slowly sipped his drink on the way back to his bedroom, newly-found energy allowing him to properly pick an outfit; if he was honest, he didn’t care much about Howell’s thoughts on the way he dressed, and didn’t spend much time thinking about it.

He didn’t bother straightening his hair — Dan had texted 10 minutes ago saying he wasn’t far away from his flat. Instead, he briefly combed it and figured there was always the option of wearing a paper bag over his head.

Another “ding” came from his phone. A double text from his “husband”.

_i hope to fuck you’ve got your setup ready because i was NOT getting all my equipment into a cab_

Phil groaned. Of course he couldn’t just ask a team to do the dirty job, they had to record it all themselves. He typed an “OK” back and went back to the kitchen to dump his mug in the dishwasher. His main camera was already on a tripod in the living room, sparing him a bit of work — if Howell wanted to boss him around, he’d have to do it in person at least.

He sat in the sofa playing _Crossy Road_ until the doorbell rang. Phil unlocked the door and was greeted by Dan and two suitcases behind him. Right. They were living together for a week. He didn’t remember why he agreed to that at all. Had they even discussed going to Dan’s flat instead, or had he just pushed the hard part onto Phil?

“Morning,” Howell said, snapping him out out of his self-proclaimed mind palace. Phil nodded in acknowledgement. “So, uh, can I come in?” He mumbled.

Phil laughed. “Yeah, you’re my husband now, so I guess you can do that?” He got out of the way so Dan could come in. Phil watched as he left his suitcases in a corner of the living room and turned to him.

“We need to, you know, film ourselves talking and getting to know each other. For the video.” He pointed out.

“Right. Uh. I’ll turn on the camera,” said Phil, pointing to the tripod. Thankfully, if Dan had noticed the blush creeping up in his cheeks, he didn’t make any remarks.

He was so absorbed in setting up the filming equipment he didn’t notice when Dan walked over and fiddled with the controls. “We’re good like this,” he said, snapping Phil out of his thoughts. “Doesn’t need to be extremely well set up. It gives off a casual vibe which is what we’re going for.” Phil nodded.

Dan sighed. “So. We should just pretend we don’t see that bastard of a camera over there,” he smiled. “Let’s get to know each other?”

“Over breakfast? I had nothing but a coffee so far,” noted Phil.

“Sorry for waking you up so early, I’m not good at waiting to start things,” Dan said. He looked genuinely apologetic, and Phil dismissed it with a wave of the hand. “Don’t worry about that,” he told Dan. “If anything, that’s why you’re one of the best on the team. Never rest.”

Dan hid his blushing face with a hand. “Let’s go eat, then.” They walked over to the kitchen, where Phil showed him where to find everything he wanted. He even managed to forget about the camera scrutinising his every move in the background.

“Oh, of course,” Phil hit himself on the forehead. Dan looked confused. “Do you have any specific diet things? Like, are you a vegan or something?” He asked, frowning at the eggs he had already cracked before asking.

“No, don’t worry,” Dan giggled. “I’ll have the same, I don’t mind it.”

Phil smiled. “So, do you mind getting us something to drink? Fridge isn’t in its best shape right now but I promise we’ll have better days,” he joked. Dan nodded and opened the refrigerator. “Um, orange juice okay with you?”

In that moment, it hit Phil that he was acting perfectly domestic with Howell, someone he had voiced his distaste about just a week ago. He shook his head to try and forget those thoughts. “Yeah, it’s fine,” he agreed.

“Oh, are those pancakes?” Dan asked, looking at the mix Phil prepared. He nodded. “Nice. I’ll assume you have the golden syrup somewhere around here then.”

“It’s in the cupboard right above my huge head,” he called out. It got a laugh out of Dan, who moved over to retrieve it. “Golden syrup side quest complete,” Dan said in his best game announcer voice, playing with the bottle.

“You’re a legendary hero,” said Phil.

“You’re flattering me, Lester.”

They moved over to the living room as soon as Phil was done flipping the pancakes. Both of them sat right next to each other, despite there being plenty of wiggle room, and Phil figured it was a side effect of the kitchen banter. (He hoped it was.)

After a while of silent eating, Dan spoke up. “How old are you?”

That was when Phil realised they barely knew each other. Maybe he should’ve found out more about Dan before judging him — but now wasn’t the time for scolding past him. “Twenty-nine,” he answered. “You?”

“Oh, mum always told me I was into the older men. I’m twenty-five, just turned that last week actually.” The joke made Phil almost choke on a piece of his pancake, but he ignored it.

“What’s your middle name?” Phil fired back. Dan tried to hide behind his plate. “Come on, tell me! Mine’s Michael. Very white, I know. Don’t judge.”

“If anything mine’s whiter,” replied Dan. “Daniel James Howell. Don’t know what led my mother to make those terrible naming decisions, don’t ask.” Phil thought it was a nice name, but didn’t voice it.

He finished his pancakes and pushed the dishes aside. “What do you do besides the whole video business?” Phil asked. Dan shrugged. “I don’t think I do much besides shitpost and come up with these brilliant ideas. It’s not very exciting but I guess I’m satisfied with my life.”

Phil nodded. He understood the feeling; sometimes doing nothing but work and playing on his 3DS was boring but he’d gotten used to it. Ever since he moved out of his parents’ house, he was too lazy to actually do things in his free time. He told Dan about it, feeling like some weight had been lifted off his chest.

“I actually feel the same,” Dan said. “What’s your friend code?” Phil was taken aback by the question; he didn’t take him for the gaming type. “We can battle it out with Mario Kart if we ever have a bad argument. Like every real marriage.”

The “m-word” reminded Phil of what he was really in for. He was afraid this would dwindle back into the mutual ignoring that happened in the Buzzfeed offices, instead of actually turning into a proper friendship. Maybe Dan was just acting nice for the sake of the video, and Phil shuddered.

Instead of talking about it, he stayed on subject. After all, they _had_ just become friends. “Did you bring your 3DS?” He asked. Dan rolled his eyes. “Of course.”

“Get it. Sweet Sweet Canyon, best of 3?” Phil offered.

“You’re on.”


	3. day 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second day makes Phil question his own feelings.

Phil woke up with his cheek pressed against the tiny car from  _ Monopoly  _ and an arm draped around his waist. Said arm belonged to Dan Howell (who you are temporarily married to, his mind supplied). And the worst of it all is that he wasn’t exactly disliking the feeling of it; Dan had pushed the board game away and snuggled close to him. They fell asleep cuddling on the cold floor after an intense round of  _ Monopoly. _

“What is happening to my life?” He asked out loud, to nobody in particular, except maybe the wilting house plants scattered around the living room.

“I’m asking myself the same,” said a voice behind him, and Phil immediately regretted speaking. He should’ve checked if Dan was awake before talking to himself.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, he couldn’t quite decide yet), Dan looked quite pleased with their position and didn’t move, until Phil sat up and got his phone from the sofa. “It’s 8 in the morning,” he mumbled.

Dan giggled. “What?” Asked Phil.

“You have a car-shaped mark on your cheek, you dumbass.” He had a grin that wouldn’t leave his face.

Phil groaned and flopped face-down onto the sofa. “I hate everything,” he said.

“Camera’s still rolling.” Dan noted. “We’ll have a lot of footage of us sleeping after an economics based board game match.”

“We didn’t even finish playing,” Phil lamented. “Did you know they used to send maps hidden in  _ Monopoly  _ boxes during World War II?”

It was strange for Phil to realise that he was so comfortable with being around Dan already. Sharing miscellaneous facts about subjects that hadn’t even been brought up was a sacred thing for him. Not even his loving mum could put up with his animal curiosities after a while, but Dan seemed to actually enjoy listening to him.

He would feel bad for preemptively judging Dan for the rest of his life, it seemed.

“I don’t even remember what I did yesterday,” Dan whined. “It’s like a non-alcoholic version of a hangover. Fuck.”

“We played Mario Kart. Then we ate. Then we played Monopoly. Then we ordered pizza and fell asleep still playing Monopoly,” Phil told him.

“That stupid game went on for  _ hours  _ and we didn’t end it. With two people. How do you even take that long to play 2 person Monopoly for God’s sake?”

“It was  _ your _ stupid house rule,” he countered. “Obviously giving us free money is gonna make the game endless.”

Dan rolled his eyes and got up. “Absolutely nothing wrong with my personal spin on this game,” he said. “Oh look, there’s still a slice of pizza here.”

“Are you actually going to eat that?” Phil raised an eyebrow. “That was open  _ all night  _ long.”

“It’s food and I’m starving.” Dan shrugged.

“I want a divorce.” He groaned. His body and mind felt sluggish and hazy — probably from the lack of caffeine in his system. God, he was definitely an addict. Phil watched as Dan ate the leftover pizza, probably with more intensity than anyone should look at a co-worker. It’s okay, he told himself. It was just for the video. Some fake PDA wouldn’t hurt.

Dan clearly noticed Phil’s staring. He walked to the sofa and sat next to him, allowing Phil to rest his head on his lap while he chewed on the pizza slice.

And Jesus, he’d be damned if he said Howell’s lap wasn’t an incredibly nice place to doze off. “You’re awfully touchy today,” said Dan.

“Yeah, I know,” Phil tried to speak, but it came out as “hgnnmf” to Dan’s ears. Instead of trying to tell him anything, Phil made himself comfortable on the sofa, throwing his legs over its arm. He snuggled even closer to Dan and prayed he didn’t have a tendency to pop erections on his friends’ faces.

He tried not to think too much about the way his mind automatically referred to Dan as a “friend”.

They didn’t get up for an hour, even though neither of them fell back asleep. Phil noticed the camera had died after filming for an entire night, but didn’t bother to move. Finally, Dan gently pushed Phil away so he could get up.

Phil moaned at the loss. “I’m gonna make you, uh, us some coffee, don’t worry,” Dan told him, and he relaxed. “In case you forgot, we have work today.”

At the mention of both work and caffeine, his body felt slightly more awake. Phil propped himself up on his elbows and kept his eyes on Dan as he figured out the coffeemaker. He didn’t tear his gaze away even as Dan walked back into the living room with two coffees and handed Phil one of them. 

“You’re staring.”

“Oh,” Phil said dumbly. He attempted to hide behind his drink, and it made Dan giggle.

“I’m gonna go get ready to go to the office. I can shower first, right?”

“Actually,” Phil interrupted, “do you mind if I stay behind? Just for a little? You can leave so you aren’t late, but I need to sort something out.” If he didn’t know any better, he’d say Dan looked actually  _ sad  _ at that, but nodded anyway.

Phil took both his and Dan’s empty mugs and put them back on the dishwasher. Inside the kitchen and out of Dan’s sight, he sighed — he had no idea when his relationship with Howell had completely flipped upside down. It was straight out of a rom-com and he wasn’t sure if they’d stay friends after filming was done. He sat in silence, listening to the shower sounds and his phone’s notifications.

Later that day, none of their coworkers, not even the usually “serious business” and stoic Cat, could hold back a tiny gasp; not when Phil, unusually late to work, went to Dan’s desk and gave him a box of chocolates and a quick kiss on the cheek.

And Phil kept telling himself all of that was directed towards the camera he was holding with shaky hands. Some affection to make the experiment more fun-to-watch and attract more viewers.

(He wasn’t sure if he still completely believed that.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm having a pretty hard time (personally, regarding school & stress) so i'm sorry if this isn't as long as you expected it to be. promise i'll make up for it on the weekend. :(


	4. day 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get touchy. Phil still is in denial.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all PLEASE let me thank all of you. you all left wonderful, lovely comments that made my day. i am so grateful to have such kind readers that worry about me. thank you x

The first time they woke up together, Phil was completely disoriented. Yes, this was his bedroom, complete with the colourful duvet he got years ago. But there was something, _someone_ else lying next to him. He knew it was Dan, but he really didn’t want to believe it, so Phil pretended the legs tangled with his belonged to Chris Evans.

Dan’s feet felt warm against his. Phil quickly checked if he was wearing anything, _just in case_ — thankfully, he was clad in his Superman pyjamas. So they didn’t have sex, but they cuddled all night long, which seemed like the worst of two evils for Phil.

He was snapped out of his thoughts by some loud music; a classical piano piece Phil likely wouldn’t understand played all of a sudden. So that was Dan’s alarm. If he didn’t know any better, he’d call him a pretentious twat.

Phil noted he had a couple missed calls from Cat and texts from her and Peej. All of them were typed in caps lock and included the word “Dan”, so he chose to ignore them temporarily. He remembered there was a camera filming the room and felt self-conscious about his clothing choices, so he draped the duvet back over himself.

He didn’t account for Dan being awake.

Dan rolled over to face Phil. “Morning,” he said. The cheeky smile on his face made Phil think that maybe, this situation wasn’t that uncomfortable. No, he could get used to it.

“Hi,” Phil giggled. Dan must have had a very strong effect on him, because laughter and pre-coffee mornings don’t mix for him.

And Dan leaned in and pecked his lips, so fast and sheepish Phil barely felt it, but it lingered. Then he got up and everything went back to normal, like it had never happened. It was unnerving because Phil liked the fact it had happened. He wanted to text all his friends about it, which was very unlike him. It was a good kiss.

They didn’t bother talking about it, and Phil went back to his mantra: it was just for the camera. We’re putting on a show. It meant absolutely nothing.

If Phil didn’t mind standing a bit closer to Dan while they made breakfast, it was just a strange coincidence. The way his heart felt like it was doing somersaults inside his chest? Probably a worryingly well-timed case of tachycardia. The bizarre goosebumps when Dan’s hand brushed against his — Phil’s grandma had told him spirits and ghosts could cause them.

The L-word was banned from his mind palace.

“Hey, by the way,” Dan said over a plate of waffles. “I’m going over to a friend’s today, but I’ll be back in the afternoon.” Phil dreaded a serious conversation, so to say he was relieved was a massive understatement. He just nodded and kept on eating. This time, Dan got up to put their empty places in the dishwasher before he marched to the door.

“Phil?” Dan called out.

He stood in front of Dan. The feeling was akin to having a washing machine for a stomach. “Yes?”

Dan pulled him closer by the arm. “Have a nice day, yeah?” And he wrapped his own arms around Phil’s neck, leaning down to match his height. “I’ll be back soon.”

He kissed him. This time around, Phil could actually feel it — the light brush of Dan’s lips against his and _god he’s a good kisser_ in his mind. He wanted to do it again, so he did, and a third time, until Dan pulled away.

The L-word was no longer banned from his mind palace.

“See you?”

“Yeah,” said Phil. He hadn’t actually registered the words, as he was too busy reviving the kiss seven hundred times inside his head. “Yeah.”

And Dan left Phil staring dumbfounded at the door. He walked back to his sofa and fell face down into it, questioning everything he once thought was true.

He despised the idea of being in the same room as Dan no more than three days ago. It was _stupid_ because he felt like a silly romantic comedy character in some poorly written fanfiction, harbouring a crush on a coworker after a couple days living with them. He felt pathetic with his legs dangling off the couch and a confused heart.

 _Mum I think I like someone,_ Phil typed. His mother would know what to do, she always did.

 _Explain._ He sighed.

_It’s a long story_

_Honey I waited 9 months for you I have plenty of time_

She _was_ always right.

Phil called her. His mum’s familiar and warm voice helped his nerves settle down, but as soon as he started to explain his situation, she burst into laughter. It seemed the world was not on Phil’s side.

“Are you sure this isn’t an elaborate plan to get your heart?” She asked between giggles.

“Mum, you’re not helping at all,” he whined.

“Phil _you’re_ not helping!” His mum laughed. “This Derek boy,”

“Dan,” he corrected.

“Whatever, whatever. This Dan boy kissed you, twice. He makes you breakfast and laughs at your godawful jokes. He loved when you surprised him in a romantic way and cuddled up next to you two times already,” she rambled. “Honey, I knew your eyesight was bad, but your heart can’t be all that blind.”

For the first time ever, Phil hoped his mum was wrong. (Worst of all, he didn’t exactly know why.)


	5. day 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan makes a move.

They didn’t talk at all in the morning. Dan had made himself breakfast and left early to the office, leaving a very confused Phil behind. What about the goodbye kiss they shared the previous day? They had cuddled all night and he didn’t even get a  _ see you soon _ or a ride to work?

Phil was too confused for his own good, so he occupied himself with thoughts of work. He had a few texts from Cat telling him Dan had showed her some recordings and that she’d enjoyed it so far, a couple from his mum asking how it’d worked out with Dan, and a message from Peej telling him Dan looked nervous.

He couldn’t avoid Dan even if he tried extremely hard, so he got dressed, had a second mug of coffee (God, he was addicted) and hailed a cab.

The offices were eerily quiet when he got there. Tyler eyed him in a suspicious way as he sat on his desk, got to sketching up a few video ideas and took some calls. Ashley who sat next to him kept on giggling, and he could tell something was up. Dan wasn’t in his usual place and PJ was missing, and God he was afraid of PJ’s stupid schemes more than anything in the world.

He got a text from Cat.  _ Come to my office right now?  _ Phil raised his eyebrows. She never let anyone in her room, and he was a hundred percent sure Dan was behind all this.

Phil took the stairs up and looked around until he found Cat’s office. He sheepishly knocked on the wooden door. “Come in,” she yelled.

He walked in.

“Surprise!” Shouted a bunch of people — more precisely half of his coworkers, who were all pushed together inside the cramped room. He saw Dan laughing in the back, behind Cat’s desk. Phil hid his face in his hands. He didn’t fancy being around lots of loud people, let alone when he was confused and didn’t know anything about what was going on.

Oh.

A huge banner read “will you go on a date with me?”. Dan held his arm out with a rose pointed towards Phil. God, this was the cheesiest thing ever. He felt the urge to point out they were technically married, and that Dan didn’t need to arrange all of this to ask him on a date, but he didn’t want to ruin it.

Phil figured he should go along with it. PJ was unhelpfully cheering him on and punching the air, while even Louise who he barely talked to cackled. He walked closer to the desk; closer to Dan, his brain helped; and took the rose from his fingers.

“Of course,” he smiled.

The entire room erupted into applause. God, this  _ was _ actually a romantic comedy film. “I can’t believe you set all of this up just for a date,” Phil laughed.

“I am a romantic, okay?” Dan said. “Everything needs to be the cheesiest.”

“I hate cheese,” Phil pointed out. He heard PJ boo and saw Dan roll his eyes. “Whatever, Lester, you coffee addict.”

“With milk and two sugars.”

Dan smirked. “I would know, since I’ve been making you coffee every morning for the past couple of days.” That was when Phil noticed Cat holding a camcorder. This was all being recorded. He groaned at the thought — reliving this while editing was going to be a painful task.

“So,” Phil raised an eyebrow. “When and where, hopeless romantic?”

His pretend-husband giggled, and he didn’t know when Dan’s laugh became so appealing, but he wouldn’t mind having it as the soundtrack of his life. “Got us two tickets for the London Eye,” Dan said. “Two days from now. I hope you enjoy pretentious Starbucks drinks and big wheels.”

Phil leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to Dan’s cheek. He was able to perfectly see the way Dan’s skin turned crimson instantly.

Later, they went home together, holding hands inside a cab. No cameras. Dan offered Phil his right earphone and rested his head on his shoulder. He was listening to a soothing song Phil had never heard of.

He noticed Dan was quietly singing along. “Don't make me play this game, don't have the time to waste, don't need to read my mind cause I'll just tell you straight. Why don't you show me around and I can show you off?”

Phil could get used to this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the song Dan was singing is I Want You by Marian Hill, which I listened to about 48 times while writing this.


	6. day 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It turns into less and less of an act for Phil. Lines are still blurry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi there welcome back to vows pals did I just procrastinate for so long frank ocean released an album woops haha

Phil learned how to ignore the camera behind him as he made Dan breakfast, and it almost felt  _ normal _ in a way. If he tuned out the stupid video idea, it was like he was making his long term boyfriend some pancakes.

He took his time arranging them in an “aesthetically pleasing fashion”, something Dan had nagged him about, and walked to his bedroom. Dan was splayed out on the bed like a starfish and snoring loudly. It made something tug in his chest and he wondered if he should be feeling that way about a fake relationship. Sometimes he wondered if Dan did feel anything, even a tiny crush, on him.

It seemed unlikely but the idea made him giggle.

Dan was a light sleeper and woke up at the sound, sitting up and hopelessly fixing his bed hair. “Uh, hey babe. Shit, I wasn't expecting this. Good morning, by the way.”

The words came easily to him when he remembered it was all being recorded, but Phil thought he wouldn't have any trouble even if they weren't on camera. “Morning, sleepyhead,” and topped it off with a quick peck to Dan's lips. “We have a big date tomorrow, so there's a good 24 hours to do absolutely nothing.”

He didn't miss the way Dan blushed at the feeling of Phil kissing him. “Honestly, I just wanna play all day then nap,” Dan whined. “Come on, let's play something. I know you have The Witcher 3.”

“I haven’t played it since the dawn of time,” Phil giggled. “But if you want to, sure. But first… Eat that breakfast. I almost burned your pancakes twice, please appreciate me for the effort.”

Dan immediately picked up a fork and took a large bite out of the first pancake. Phil tried to ignore the bliss he felt and the pull in his chest every time Dan hummed and moaned around the food. It was funny how he'd gone from actively avoiding him around the office to having him in his bed, digging into a stack of food Phil had made him.

-

 

Phil barely even noticed time fly by. With Dan on one side of the couch and him on the other, intently watching as Dan fought weird aquatic monsters and set fire to buildings, everything felt like it was in its place. He slowly inched closer to Dan as the minutes passed, and ended with his head resting on his shoulder.

“Hey, I can't move properly now with your huge head on me,” Dan teased, but made no move to get Phil off him. Instead, he kept on playing, occasionally glancing and smiling at Phil.

After he was done with one of the prologue quests, he turned off the PS4 and put down the controller. He turned and looked at Phil, and for the first time he saw just how pretty the amber specks of Dan's eyes were.

They kissed with the camera off and it felt real. It was like a cute couple playing video games and cuddling on the couch, not two coworkers who never talked before a project came up pretending to date. (For some reason, the fact that it wasn't concrete made Phil’s chest ache.)

-

 

They went to bed at the same time, after Dan had concluded his quest for Yennefer’s whereabouts and they'd eaten Dan's university-famous stir fry. Neither made a move to mention the kiss or the way their feet deliberately brushed against the other's under the colourful duvet. Phil didn't mind Dan playing with his post-shower wavy hair even if they didn't have to be close off recording.

Dan broke the silence. “Ready for our date tomorrow?” He asked. “Or are you about to chicken out because I'm too ugly to be seen on a date with you?”

Phil kicked his leg. “Of course I am going, God.” He wanted to tell Dan he was beautiful, but he wasn't sure if what was off boundaries or not. Instead, he said “I've never been to the Eye, you know? I'm not actually southern. I'm glad you're my tour guide though.”

“The guy with the most northern accent in the entire Buzzfeed offices isn't southern. What a surprise, huh?” Dan took a jab. Phil just giggled and closed his eyes at the feeling of Dan’s hand on his.

“I'm sleepy,” said Phil. He emphasised it with a loud yawn. Dan rubbed his eyes and he knew it was time to bed.

“Alright,” Dan replied. “Sweet dreams.” He leaned in and kissed Phil one more time, his hand on Phil's chest, carefully feeling his heartbeat.

The camera was still turned off, tripod unassembled and in a dark corner of the room. For a brief moment, it didn't feel like an act; and then they were asleep.


	7. day 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time's almost up. Things happen (finally). Dan finally gets a chance to show how he feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for your continued support and patience. I love and appreciate all of you. I apologise if I didn't reply to your comment, but anxiety + perfectionism make me feel like I'm always coming across as ungrateful no matter how much i try, so here's my public THANK YOU for sticking with vows so far.

Dan woke up to the familiar feeling of butterflies (more like murderer moths, he corrected himself) skipping around in his stomach. His peripheral vision told him that no, Phil wasn't lying next to him, and that brought just a smidge of disappointment he was quick to scold himself for. There wasn't the sound of silverware or mugs smashing against the floor, either, and he was confused.

When did Phil become such a huge part of his daily life to the point his absence felt like a gaping wound? And yes, Dan was acting overly dramatic, but he  _ was _ a theatre kid at heart and his job  _ was  _ to produce clickbait videos.

He settled for getting up and being productive instead of dwelling in things he couldn't do a thing about. He picked up the camera from the tripod and sat on the living room couch. He was running on no breakfast and not nearly enough sleep, and the lack of Phil to tease him was starting to piss him off.

No matter how much he tried, Dan couldn't get the words out. This was the part in the video where he talked about how his feelings for Phil had changed in half a week. What was he supposed to say?  _ I might be slowly but surely falling in love with a coworker who probably thinks this is all a joke? _

He rambled about Phil's messiness and bad sock habits instead.

-

Dan was too lazy to cook himself lunch and ordered chow mein and spring rolls. A part of him secretly hoped Phil would come back and eat with him, so he asked for double his regular amount. He had no such luck—he stored away half of the food in the fridge.

_ i thought you were having lunch here so i ordered chinese _

_ it's in the fridge if you wanna have dinner _

Phil read and didn't reply. It was a slight blow to Dan's ego, but he decided to brush it off and keep on filming.

-

The only ways he found to occupy himself were to play Halo 3—with the actual disk he owned as a teenager—for a while and clean the house. Dan scrubbed the floors and did the dishes until his hands were sore but he couldn't stop the horrible nagging feeling that he'd done something wrong and Phil was angry at him.

He was halfway through organising Phil's shelves when he heard the comforting sound of keys turning in the lock. Dan immediately got up and dashed to the living room; usually, he'd be filled to the brim with paranoia that it was a murderer or a burglar coming in, but he was so hopeful and longing for Phil he didn't care about that for a second.

“Hey, I'm back,” said Phil. He looked sheepish and had a bouquet of flowers in one hand. Dan stopped in his tracks and thought for a while before it sank in.  _ The date.  _ He started to silently panic. He hadn't even picked out an outfit and there Phil was, trying to impress him with a kind gesture. God, he really was a mess.

“Sorry, I didn't know if you were allergic or anything, and I just spent the last two hours asking a florist about their meanings, and you can throw them away but please don't,” Phil rambled. Dan hoped the camera, still running and recording all of their incriminating moments, didn't catch the heart eyes he was definitely throwing at Phil. Just a funny video idea, he reminded himself. “Please say something, my arm is starting to hurt from holding this out.”

The issue was, Dan didn't know how to react. He'd never had anyone express genuine care and worry about making him smile with a small offering, and his heart thrummed against his chest like it'd never done before. So he did the only thing he  _ knew  _ how to do in his constricted state of mind.

He kissed Phil.

It felt different somehow; they'd shared quick, husband and housewife type of pecks before leaving the house, or disgusting morning breath kisses. This time it felt more heated, more  _ real  _ and intimate than Dan had experienced before, and he couldn't quite get enough of it.

With both his hands fisted in Dan's hair, Phil pulled him closer. It was like entering the bubble Dan had built around him and his emotions for a moment. He let himself enjoy it; something about having Dan, (someone he dreaded working with not even a week ago) so open and vulnerable under his hands made him shiver and warmth spread inside his chest.

They didn't pull apart for more than a couple seconds as they messily stumbled to the tiny couch.

-

Dan regretted setting a loud  _ beep  _ as his incoming call tone when his phone rang for the third time in five minutes. He shot Phil an apologetic look and got up to pick it up from the bedside table.

“Hi, you've reached Dan Howell,” he said. He noticed how hoarse his voice sounded and wondered if it was from all the mouth action he'd gotten in such a short amount of time.

“Hello, Mr. Howell? We'd like to inform you we're experiencing high demand tonight, and you are at risk of losing your reservations if you don't arrive soon.”

The woman voiced the least of his concerns in that moment. He didn't care at all. Not when Phil took the phone, pressed the hang up button for him, slung his legs over Dan's and kissed him a second, third, fourth time.

He kept going at it even after the camera ran out of battery and their date was already long forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what'd yall think about the Dan pov? nice? unexpected? helped you sympathise with him? pls do tell


	8. day 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the last chapter. the next one will be an epilogue with a little bit into their future after the video was finished.
> 
> so I'm already allowed to be sappy.
> 
> thank you to everyone who read vows. thank you to Mariana, a lovely irl friend who suggested a Buzzfeed AU. this wouldn't be even real without her. thank you for sticking with me and reading it.
> 
> I couldn't be more grateful <3

Phil woke up snuggled against Dan's chest. That in itself was a blessing; he was tall and warm and smelled nice, and Phil wished he could stay wrapped in his arms forever. He looked up at Dan through his lashes and smiled. It felt blissful to see him when he was the most vulnerable, holding Phil like his life depended on it, hair tousled and wavy. It was the first time Phil wasn't scared of intimacy, and he quite liked it.

He closed his eyes and cuddled closer to Dan. Not even his trusted duvet could compare to how he radiated warmth. Phil dug his nails into the soft fabric of Dan's pajamas and let himself fall asleep again.

 

-

 

Phil felt someone move next to him. Dan was rutting up against his thigh and sighing softly as he thrusted forward, trying to be as quiet as he could… and failing.

He opened his eyes to see Dan flushed red and breathless. He had moved so Phil's thigh was carefully slotted between his legs, and started to grind like he  _ needed  _ it to survive. Truth was Phil had never pinned Dan as someone to enjoy heated making out in the mornings, just because he was always extremely moody during their early meetings at the office, but that was good. He could get behind that.

Phil reached out and cupped Dan's cheek. He immediately stilled and gasped under Phil's hand. “I—I'm so sorry, please don't be mad, I think I've ruined everything,” he rambled.

“Dan,” he said and giggled. The fondness dripped out of his voice. “We ditched a fancy restaurant reservation and kissed for  _ hours  _ on a couch yesterday night. Trust me, it's okay.” He rubbed circles on Dan's skin with the pad of his thumb. It seemed to help him calm down.

“Alright,” Dan replied. “I'm going to make out with you, and it's gonna be mind-blowing.” He did as he said and craned his neck to kiss Phil. They were still learning what the other liked, but things went quite smooth considering the circumstances, save the couple of times they bumped their noses against each other.

He took a moment to appreciate Dan's appearance when they broke the kiss. His hair was even messier (Phil hadn't even thought that was possible!) and his lips were red and swollen. It made Phil feel an overwhelming urge to say something.

“I have to tell you something,” Phil said. Dan had moved lower on the bed and started to kiss his neck, and it made speaking  _ increasingly  _ hard every time he sucked on his pale skin. He didn't acknowledge Phil at all other than a raised eyebrow. “I really, really want you to fuck me right now. I might actually explode.”

Dan bit just above his collarbone, low enough for a shirt to cover. “Please don't go Samsung on me,” he said. Phil snorted and threw his head back.

“I hate you.”

“No, you really don't.” Dan retorted.

“Yes, I do.” At this, Dan pushed a hand between Phil's legs and cupped his crotch. “Okay, I don't—Jesus, fuck me already,” he corrected himself.

His hands quickly worked Phil's sweatpants off. Dan was more than pleasantly surprised to find he slept with no underwear on at all and smirked. “Guess you were already planning for this to happen, huh?” Dan teased.

“Piss off, I'm gonna get the camera and film this injustice,” Phil whined. 

“Oh, so you're into the amateur porn thing?” Dan said. He laughed when he got an eye roll from Phil and started to kiss down his chest, to his stomach and dangerously near his dick. His hands were firmly planted on either of Phil's thighs to hold him down when he tried to arch into the touch. “Uh, do you have—? You know?”

“You've been making porn jokes and you can't say the word condom?” Phil chuckled. “Over there,” he said and pointed to the wooden drawer to their right.

“Ugh, getting up,” Dan moaned. He begrudgingly left the bed when Phil shot him a look that almost screamed  _ fuck me right now or you'll face the consequences.  _ He searched through the drawer and found water-based lube and several packages of condoms. “Jesus, does your dick shape-shift? Why do you need so many condoms?”

“For my partners,” Phil said, glaring at Dan. “Not everyone has a eleven inch monster cock like me, so I have to cater to their needs.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Dan said and got back into the bed. He finally shrugged his camo jumper and boxers off. Somehow, he didn't feel uncomfortable at all standing naked in front of Phil. It was like he had done it a million times—the banter came easy to him.

He struggled with the plastic for a bit before ripping the wrapper open. Dan didn't miss the way Phil's eyes ate up every movement as he unrolled the condom down to the base of his dick. “I'm being eye fucked,” he joked. Phil didn't mind it much, though. He really  _ was  _ drinking in everything Dan did. “Do you need me to stretch you or anything?” He added.

“No, I'm good, I'm pretty active on that front I guess,” Phil said. He immediately regretted it and felt his cheeks flush. “Do you want me on my back, or…?” He brushed it off.

“Uh, actually, it'd be pretty cool if you could ride me. Yeah. Pretty cool, yeah,” Dan stuttered.

Phil giggled. “Yeah, I think it would be pretty cool, dude,” he mocked. He waited until Dan pushed himself up on the bed and lay with his stomach up. He had spread the lube over his dick and pumped himself a couple of times.

Carefully, Phil put down each knee on either side of Dan's waist and hovered over him. He noticed his breathing was faster and ragged, and though Phil didn't dare comment on it, it was slightly comforting to know he wasn't the only nervous one.

He held Dan's dick and guided it until it pressed right against his hole. The feeling was enough to elicit a whine from Dan. “Phil, come  _ on  _ or I'm going to actually die,” he pleaded.

Phil lowered himself and reveled in the feeling of Dan's cock stretching him open—God, he'd missed this, and Dan was pretty and funny and made him breakfast and Phil was a little infatuated, which made everything feel even more thrilling. He slowly sank down to the base of Dan's erection, and he'd done this many times but it felt different.

“Fuck, Jesus, you good?” Dan asked from under him. His chest had flushed red and there was a bit of sweat shining on his forehead.

“Yeah,” Phil sighed. “Couldn't be better.”

 

-

 

Dan tossed the tied up condom to the floor, much to Phil's disgust. “You're gonna clean that up, you're so gross,” he whined.

“Blah blah, you love it,” Dan said. Phil smiled.  _ Yes, I love it. And I think I might even love you, _ his brain supplied. “Give me your phone,” he demanded.

Phil was confused but didn't hesitate to pass him his iPhone. He watched as Dan opened the camera app and started filming. “Hello internet,” he said, looking straight into the lens.

“What are you even doing?” Phil asked.

“Me and Phil just had sex,” Dan continued. Phil choked on his saliva. “It was fucking great. I didn't know how to tell you, so I just had to vlog this, and we just had sex. It was great. Thank you,” he said and finished the recording.

“What is  _ wrong  _ with you?!” Phil yelled. “Oh my God, you're so—how do you even do it?”

Dan didn't answer; he was too deep into a laughing fit to speak.


	9. epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens next?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading this over the past five months. all of the readers are my friends now. you've seen the worst my ideas can get.
> 
> love you all <3

Phil buried his head in his hands and groaned. He ripped the sheet from the wall, teared it in half and threw the little pieces in the nearest bin.

It was the fourth time he'd had to see that picture, printed out multiple times and stuck to his desk, Dan's desk, and the office walls. It was a screenshot of their video—it'd gone up to the Buzzfeed channel a few hours before—specifically the part Dan filmed them in bed after sex. Phil was naked, barely covered by a thin blanket, and looked completely debauched and tired out for the world to see.

He wished he had tried to have some more control over the final product, because Dan had essentially ruined his reputation of being almost a saint, both among his fans and coworkers.

Phil looked up from the floor just in time to stumble on someone. Great. He was running face first into people who had seen his post-sex expression… Then he noticed it was Dan, who not only had seen his post-sex expression on video, but also in real life.

“Hey,” Dan chuckled. He wrapped his arms around his waist and Phil found he didn't mind his touch at all. “Enjoying our newfound popularity in the office?”

“Not only in the office,” Phil said and grimaced. “Did you see this?” He pulled out his phone and typed something. Then he showed Dan a tweet.

_ BuzzFeed France @BuzzFeedFrance _

_ Congratulations to our brit friends @danisnotonfire & @AmazingPhil on getting laid! Love really does win…  _

It was complete with a gif of Sherlock knowingly smirking at the camera. Dan laughed.

“News travel fast, you know. Actually, the Brazil guys just tweeted me, which is why I came after you. I want to tweet a couple selfie back at them.”

Phil's heart fluttered at the word “couple” but he was determined not to let it show. He sneaked closer to Dan and stayed still as he snapped a photo of them, uncharacteristically curling up into each other's touch.

“Hang on, how do you say thank you in Portuguese again?” Dan asked.

“I think it's like, gracias,” said Phil. Truth was he had no idea, as his English was already rusty since he graduated, let alone his horrible knowledge of other languages.

“That's Spanish, you spork. Nevermind, I'll just use Google translate. You're useless.”

Phil put on his best exaggerated pout. “Am I really? Alright, I'll just leave now.”

“Of course you aren't,” Dan said. He pressed a kiss to the top of Phil's head and smiled. “If you were useless, we wouldn't be married.”

“Oh, we're married now, are we?” Phil teased. “Didn't know we'd made it official. This is the most backwards relationship I've ever been in.”

“We did get married. The entirety of the office clapping and whistling at us the moment we came in was the ceremony.”

“Speaking of which, they hate me. All of them. Everywhere I go there's a damn screenshot, pardon my language, of me. In bed. After sex. Why did I let you edit this?” He whined.

Dan giggled. Phil tried not to swoon when he noticed Dan had picked up his own habit of covering his mouth whenever he laughed.

 

-

 

The last suitcase hit the floor with a loud thud and Phil wiped the sweat off his forehead. This was  _ tiring  _ and he hadn't properly thought the logistics through, but it was worth it. Dan sat on the floor and sighed. The enamoured look he shot at Phil was heartwarming.

“Okay, let's get unpacking these bags, should we?” Phil said. “Jeez, how many things do you own? Why do you need all of this?”

Dan raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Should've thought this through before asking me to move in, babe.”

**Author's Note:**

> go watch the Buzzfeed original if you want to, it's absolutely hilarious and very worth it.
> 
> follow me on twitter.com/kaonashidan if you feel like dropping me some heart emojis x


End file.
